Pocahontas

It was Jess’s pick yesterday and she chose a movie about the daughter of a chief who is struggling to choose between the life expected of her in the tribe and a life of adventure in nature. Sounds pretty good right? Well, the only problem is we already watched Moana a few weeks ago. Pocahontas is like a mixture of all the other different Disney movies we’ve seen - a princess, a love story, animal sidekicks and a bit of magic that detracts from the story, but the thing that makes this film different is the colonialism.
Based on a true story, a ship of British sailors comes to colonise an area of North America, but the Powhatan tribe are already living there. We are introduced to John Smith, a dashing explorer who, as my sister mentioned more than a few times, would’ve been a rapist and murderer in real life. Still dashing though. John Smith meets Pocahontas, an adventurous girl and daughter to the chief, who is also  the greatest linguist of all time - she manages to learn the whole English language in under a minute while talking to John Smith, while my Scottish dad still hasn’t learnt how to say “bath” and “path” correctly after living in England for years.

John Smith fall in love, but John is captured, and it seems like a bloody battle is about to ensue. The problem with this film is you're not really sure who to support - both sides are referred to as “savages'' by the other and the colonists come out of it unfairly well - just like real life. John Smith takes a bullet to save the Tribe’s chief, everyone becomes friends and the Brits leave peacefully - only in Disney, eh.
If there was a doll of this movie’s heroine and it came to life it would probably be called Ponochahontas and wouldn’t lie, so I won’t either; this movie is fine - not great like fine wine and not bad like a parking fine, just…fine.

There are three animal sidekicks in this film, a bird, a dog and a raccoon, and I don’t remember there being a raccoon in Snow White - the most popular Disney film of all time. Honestly though, the feud between the posh British dog and the tribe’s raccoon was very entertaining - more entertaining than the actual feud that was going on elsewhere in the film. I did actually enjoy watching this movie though; it just wasn’t very good.
Marks out of 10: 5
Mum’s six words of wisdom:
This is one weird Disney film.
The snooze news:
Did Dad fall asleep during Pocahontas? He sure did! Dad must’ve got bored with all the strange outfits and accents of the tribe members - he’d seen all that before in Scotland!
Check out my review of Lady and the Tramp here
So, there you have it! I hope you enjoyed that review – comment below if you had the same opinions – or opposing ones, or if you've seen it at all. Feel free to press subscribe at the top of the page so you never miss a review. We really hope to hear from you and read your thoughts. Have a safe day everybody! - Rob

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